this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
