yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
