Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Farmville is her only friend.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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