every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
