Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.

Fav 73 4666 6779
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(310): View more from California

I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't

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(206): View more from Washington

No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.

Fav 9 5038 1542
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(734): View more from Michigan

you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.

Fav 12 2927 1519
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(330): View more from Ohio

I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.

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(253): View more from Washington

So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?

Fav 5 3605 1278
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.

Fav 4 1529 448
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?

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