chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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