and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Be still, my beating vagina.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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