So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
