please come you make the beer taste better
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
