He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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