I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
