Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
