i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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