hotel room ftw
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Damn victory sex feels great
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
