very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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