so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
