he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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