Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
