why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
