you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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