yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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