I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
