it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize