Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
