you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
