I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
