He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
