Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
