Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
