question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
