pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
