But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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