Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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