Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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