Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
