my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
