Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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