So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
