I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
