scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
