she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Green mimosas i think yes
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
