The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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