every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
