We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
