i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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