mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
