Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
