so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
