A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My life is pants optional.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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