I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
