I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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