When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
