i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
