Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
