all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Are we still banned from the library?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
