We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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