We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize