that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I intend to get homeless drunk
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
