there was a trapeze. enough said
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
