covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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