Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.

Fav 9 3238 1090
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(251): View more from Alabama

Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?

Fav 38 1193 3996
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(270): View more from Kentucky

It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night

Fav 19 4328 1593
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.

Fav 11 1485 2851
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(407): View more from Florida

Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?

(912): View more from Georgia

Home?

Fav 2 2563 1136
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater

Fav 3 676 956
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(217): View more from Illinois

I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits

Fav 18 2005 702
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(904): View more from Florida

For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring

Fav 1 96 19
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(201): View more from New Jersey

So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...

Fav 0 48 3
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