fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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