wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
