I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he thought i was a dude.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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