walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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