remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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