sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
