Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize