this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
