when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
