Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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